One of our own amongst men: how a female can conquer a male team

Earlier in my career, I had to change jobs frequently and encountered new and unfamiliar situations. Like most people, I found adapting to a new team extremely stressful. Especially if the team was composed entirely of men, who, on principle, wanted to avoid accepting a female into their own team. The business world, likewise, is also affected by this problem. Having the experience of working in an all-male team has been extremely advantageous to me over time. I will share some of my experiences with you so you can avoid thinking that a woman working in a male-dominated environment is taboo or a losing option. Not at all! It is possible to conquer a male team – and much easier than it seems.

Secret 1. Clothing can have a significant impact on how a person is judged

Absolutely! All professionals judge new employees by their appearance. I am against concealing my femininity under strict business suits and refusing to wear skirts and makeup because of gender stereotypes. However, I am also against short dresses or low-cut necklines. Moderation is essential in everything, and in any new team, it is better to dress modestly at first until you discover the rules of the game, gain some authority, and feel comfortable.

If the company has an official dress code, all its rules must be followed. Wearing similar colors or styles to coworkers can help make male and female employees feel part of a united team working towards a common goal. This, in turn, promotes unity and more efficient adaptation of new employees, regardless of their gender and other attributes. The presence of a dress code that is disliked by all, especially in a team composed entirely of men, can be a positive thing.

Secret 2. Don’t become a “mother” to adult men

Throughout my life, I’ve known females who loved criticizing their male colleagues for an untidy workplace, treating everyone to home-cooked dinners, and checking if they were dressed warmly. Remember that in any team, particularly male ones, you are a professional, not a mother. This type of behavior, firstly, can enhance gender stereotypes concerning other females who will arrive on the team after you. Secondly, it imposes additional obligations on you. It is better to keep an eye on the adults.

Likewise, avoid relying on traditional gender roles such as being “coquette” or playing the “damsel in distress.” Instead, avoid emphasizing your weaknesses by asking for help only when necessary. Asking for advice about solving a work problem is one thing, but asking how to turn on the computer while batting your eyelashes is a different story altogether. I do not advise you to flirt with colleagues; this is a taboo in all cultures and organizations. Focus solely on your work tasks and how to perform them to avoid needing others to redo your work or address issues later. 

This is important! It’s best to avoid deliberately adopting a male persona by imitating your male colleagues’ habits and work style solely to gain their trust. In general, stop focusing on whether you are a man or a woman – you are a professional. All that matters is your work.

Secret 3. Controlling your emotions is the key to success

There is a common belief that men tend to be more emotionally reserved and distant compared to women. I consider this to be a female advantage rather than the other way around, as it makes us more emotionally intelligent and compassionate, and it’s beneficial for forecasting and analyzing. However, men do not seem to know what we call “intuition,” any emotional outburst is considered a blow to our reputation, even if it is justified. Therefore, to ensure that your judgments, suggestions, and ideas are well-supported, it’s important to exercise self-control and back them up with detailed results and impartial facts, preferably in numerical form. Additionally, it’s important to avoid character traits such as nervousness, self-doubt, and conflict, which you should also try to suppress.

Secret 4. You don’t go to someone else’s monastery with your own rules.

As a new employee, and even as part of a male team, you should first examine your colleagues and observe the peculiarities of their relationships in the workplace and how work and non-work matters are conducted. On the very first day, you should not move furniture, open windows wide open, and especially not give unsolicited advice to colleagues on how best to perform their tasks. Even if you know what methods can be improved, hold this information at least until the second meeting or discuss it one-on-one with your management. Simultaneously, it would be preferable to focus on something other than the fact that you are not satisfied with the established norms in the team. Present it in such a way that you witness the hard work and effort of the team and want to highlight their accomplishments by making the work even faster/more convenient/more efficient.

Secret 5. Mutual respect

Of course, I left the most important thing to last. This is a demonstration of respect and genuine interest in the activities of your colleagues and the company. Praise, admire, and recognize the successes and achievements of other employees. Feel free to be also interested in the intricacies of their work and the organization’s affairs and try some new activities! This will once again highlight your professionalism and interest, first of all, in your work. This type of initiative can also help you establish contact with other employees and management more effectively.

At the same time, remember self-respect. Feel free to express your opinions and defend them within reason, even if you are in the minority. Feel free to participate in discussions and share ideas. This will enable you to integrate into the work process faster and demonstrate to your male colleagues that you are a tough nut to crack!

Likewise, don’t turn down any invitations to joint or established events, often organized by close-knit groups. It will be a real success if you, as a newcomer to the company, are invited to a joint lunch during a break or an informal coffee meeting. Under no circumstances should you refuse this initially, as this is an excellent opportunity to establish internal relationships and make friends. By the way, common interests, hobbies, and other non-work activities can also contribute to this. Try to identify and highlight them.

The main thing I realized from my experience is that each team is unique, and only a sincere desire to become part of it will allow you to do this. Don’t try to conquer everyone and everything; be yourself. New colleagues will quickly see this for themselves if you are a true professional in your field!