Thinking traps: A comprehensive guide to escaping mental dead ends and avoiding becoming a victim of your subconscious

You may not realize the impact of cognitive distortions or thinking traps on your life. These include irrational beliefs, biased views, and behavioral patterns that are often difficult to understand and explain. Such internal factors can lead to dead ends, hinder personal and professional growth, slow down career advancement, and complicate various other features of life. In this article, we will explore the most common thinking traps across different areas and discover how to overcome them swiftly and effortlessly.

How distortions emerge and the threat they present

Cognitive distortions are errors in our thinking—irrational and destructive patterns formed in our consciousness. They are linked to memory errors, social experiences, stereotypes, and clichés. Excessive concern for particular areas of life heightened anxiety, and the overestimation or devaluation of one’s abilities and those of others also contribute to cognitive distortions. In simple terms, these thinking traps emerge from our attitudes, values, and principles, which are shaped by societal influences.

Avoiding cognitive distortions is achievable, but it demands constant vigilance over your thoughts, actions, and decisions. Maintaining awareness and connection with reality isn’t straightforward. We often find it difficult to accept our own mistakes and illogical thinking. Falling prey to distorted thinking can be unpleasant and even daunting, and it eventually occurs to all of us. The key is recognizing when irrational thoughts influence you and addressing them swiftly. Overlooking your mistakes can result in added stress, mental disorders, physical issues, and, in some cases, burnout and depression. To enhance your emotional well-being, boost personal productivity, and prevent anxiety disorders, it is vital to manage your consciousness and regulate the flow of your thoughts.

The most prevalent thinking traps and strategies to overcome them

As the saying goes, forewarned is forearmed. The more you understand thinking traps, the less likely you are to fall into one. Let us explore the five most common distortions and how to overcome them:

№ 1. Imposter syndrome

“I was just lucky to get this job. I’m not really as professional as they think I am. The boss listens to my advice, but he will soon realize that I am a poor specialist and will fire me.” Do these thoughts sound familiar? If you often notice them, you might be experiencing impostor syndrome.

Definition and causes: Impostor syndrome is an overwhelming feeling of insecurity regarding your abilities, causing you to believe you do not deserve your position. It can feel as though you lack the knowledge, skills, and expertise that others attribute to you. The fear of being exposed often exacerbates these feelings. Consequently, “impostors” frequently immerse themselves in workaholism, strive to please and impress others, and suppress their opinions and genuine emotions.

According to scientific research, around 70% of people globally experience this syndrome. They attribute their success and achievements in both their professional and personal lives to luck and coincidence rather than to their persistence, hard work, skills, and talents. Impostor syndrome often begins in childhood, typically because of overly demanding parents who expect their child’s success to be validated through excellent grades, exemplary behavior, competition prizes, and so forth. Consequently, the child becomes accustomed to constantly striving for high achievements and demonstrating skills. This results in increased anxiety and worry, as they fear disappointing their parents if they do not meet their expectations.

Impostor syndrome can develop from constant comparisons with more successful peers, relatives, bloggers, and celebrities. These feelings of insecurity are often triggered by harsh criticism and devaluation of one’s work. Consequently, the highest number of “impostors” are found among creative professionals, such as artists, actors, musicians, and writers. The perception of art is inherently subjective, and competition in these fields is particularly intense and unforgiving.

Diagnosis: There are several types of “impostors.” For example:

• Perfectionists who strive to be the best at everything, forgetting that this is unattainable.
• Child prodigies, who are accustomed to everything coming easily in childhood, start to doubt themselves and their abilities when confronted with difficulties in adulthood.
• Individualists believe they should do everything themselves without outside help and become desperate when exhausted.
• Superheroes or superhumans who think they must work tirelessly to achieve success and feel guilty when they long for rest.

To establish whether or not you experience impostor syndrome, you can take a specific test devised by DR. Paulina Rose Clance. Here are a few of the questions included in it:

• Would you regard yourself as a competent professional?
• Do you shun evaluations from others?
• When you receive praise, do you consider it mere politeness?
• Would you say your achievements are due to luck?
• Are you fearful of failing to meet others’ expectations?
• Are you frightened of failure?
• Are you superstitious?
• Do you believe you could have accomplished more?
• Do you frequently compare yourself to your colleagues?

The greater your agreement with the answers above, the more likely your impostor syndrome will be pronounced.

Treatment: To address impostor syndrome or reduce its impact, periodically follow these fundamental recommendations. Some beneficial exercises include:

• Staying focused on your achievements. Maintain a separate notebook in which you handwrite all the successes you have accomplished throughout your life. You may also compile a list of your most significant achievements from the past year. By reviewing everything you have achieved and what you take pride in, you will realize that these successes cannot be solely attributed to luck or fortune. Each accomplishment is the result of your considerable efforts and talents.
• Reflection. The skill of self-awareness, which involves objectively and impartially analyzing oneself and examining your actions and behavior, fosters confidence. Through reflection, you recognize your strengths and advantages over competitors and learn to rely on yourself more often. Self-analysis also provides excellent motivation for developing and improving upon your weaknesses. The process of reflection requires refraining from hastily labeling events in your life. Instead, analyze what transpired, identify the positive and negative consequences, understand how it will affect you, and determine how to improve the situation. To cultivate the skill of reflection, observe yourself in daily life, pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, and realize the reasons for their emergence and consequences.
• Feedback. Ask loved ones, friends, and colleagues for insights into your work. Receiving positive, candid feedback will enhance your self-esteem and self-confidence.
• Avoid perfectionism. When you receive a new task, don’t aim for absolute perfection. Instead, concentrate on performing your work efficiently and to the best of your ability. Remember, possessing all the knowledge in the world is impossible, so it’s perfectly acceptable to have less competence in certain areas. The key is to maintain the desire to develop and improve.
• Accept failures. We cannot completely avoid failures as much as we would like. Even the most successful and renowned individuals have encountered failures, criticism, and outright hostility. However, this did not deter them from growing and achieving greatness in their respective fields. Follow their example.

Each of us experiences impostor syndrome in different ways. If this condition is affecting your life and you are unable to cope with the consequences on your own, it is advisable to seek assistance from a specialist. With a psychologist, you can explore the underlying reasons for your feelings of being an “imposter” and formulate a personalized plan to overcome this disorder.

№ 2. Catastrophising

Imagine you’ve been working hard and made a mistake in your quarterly report. As a result, you’ll need to stay late or start early tomorrow to rectify it. However, someone prone to catastrophic thinking might react differently: “Oh, my God! I didn’t do this job properly, so I’m a bad specialist, and I’ll be sacked.”

Definition and reasons: Catastrophising is an unconscious behavior where a person overestimates the likelihood of negative events. It is a component of negative thinking, characterized by exaggeration and a sole focus on bad scenarios. This habit can arise from traumatic past experiences, such as difficult relationships, persistent family conflicts, betrayal by a loved one, accidents, or actual disasters.

Typically, individuals with mental health issues like depression, PTSD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorders, and attention deficit disorder are prone to catastrophic thinking. Nearly everyone has experienced emotional breakdowns at some point in their lives, rendering us all susceptible to catastrophizing.

Diagnosis: It’s easy to recognize a person’s tendency to catastrophize from the outside. However, it’s challenging to identify this process when your mind generates more and more negative thoughts that lead you to believe them. Often, this captivates a person to the extent that they can spend a sleepless night contemplating various scenarios of an event. The fabricated catastrophe then displaces all other thoughts and prevents you from shifting to even positive memories.

Negative thoughts can be directed towards anything. For instance, if a loved one fails to answer the phone on your first attempt, thoughts of a dreadful accident or even a fatal outcome may enter the mind of someone prone to catastrophizing. These notions are particularly prevalent among hypochondriacs, who may convince themselves they have cancer upon discovering a new mole.

If you often find yourself exaggerating the potential consequences of events and continually catching yourself in negative thoughts that lack a logical basis, you are likely prone to catastrophic thinking.

Treatment: Although there is no universal cure for obsessive thoughts, various exercises can assist you in remaining grounded and managing your imagination:

• Always be present and practice mindfulness. Focus on the moment and avoid thinking in the subjunctive mood, such as “what if…” When anxious thoughts arise, try to find arguments and facts that prove the contrary. If you cannot overcome anxiety, employ meditative techniques like conscious breathing. This universal practice can be done anytime and anywhere: sit comfortably, straighten your legs and back, ensure there are no distractions, close your eyes, and “turn off” your consciousness for 10 minutes. Calm your breathing and concentrate on inhaling and exhaling to release anxious thoughts and return to a state of normality.

Another mindfulness practice, ideally performed at home each morning or evening, involves lying on a firm surface (it must be a firm surface) and envisioning your anxious thoughts as clouds. Picture them gently and peacefully swaying before you. This technique enables you to observe your worries and doubts from a distance, calming your mind and giving you a sense of control over the situation.

• Keep a diary of thoughts and feelings. This effective method, frequently utilized in cognitive behavioral therapy, assists in overcoming anxiety. It’s straightforward: begin a separate notebook (or use notes on your phone) and record all the thoughts and feelings that arise, along with the situations that provoked them. This practice enables you to observe negative thoughts from an external perspective and release them by transferring them to paper. Employing a table format can be particularly convenient. For instance:

• Create an anxiety schedule. As it is impossible to eliminate anxious thoughts entirely, dedicate 10-20 minutes in your daily routine to worry calmly and focus on nothing else. During this time, let go of all accumulated negativity, consider even the most negative and unlikely scenarios, and feel free to articulate them aloud. You will likely realize that most of your thoughts are irrational and destructive, lack a logical basis, and are not worth dwelling on throughout the day. By reserving time solely for anxiety, you can swiftly return to more pressing matters.

However, a similarly effective solution is to reach out to a psychologist, particularly if you start to experience physical discomfort from anxious thoughts.

№ 3. Polar or black-and-white thinking

“It was brilliant!” or “A complete disaster!” “I’m the most successful individual in the world!” or “I’m a failure at everything”—these are the standards that individuals with polarised thinking generally apply.

Definition and reasons: Polar or polarised thinking is akin to catastrophizing. However, with polar thinking, an individual employs only two assessments for everything: good or bad. For such individuals, the world is distinctly divided into two poles, marked with a negative or a positive. The concepts of a middle ground, grey area, or moderation are non-existent for them.

The origins of this mindset can be found in childhood. As children mature, they come to understand that certain things are categorized as “good” while others are deemed “bad.” Strict and traditional parents frequently instill this binary viewpoint in their children, neglecting the possibility of a neutral space that isn’t defined by positive or negative labels.

Black-and-white thinking may serve as a defense mechanism against insecurities and fears. When faced with ambiguous information, our brains tend to categorize it into clearer groups, essentially assigning labels. This “all or nothing” mindset can also be triggered by psychological issues such as borderline personality disorder, narcissism, OCD, heightened anxiety, and depression.

Diagnosis: If you often view the world in binary terms—strictly black or white—you may be experiencing polar thinking. Individuals with this mindset tend to overlook grey areas, the opportunity for compromise, and the search for a balanced perspective. They tend to see everything—including events and people—as either entirely good or entirely bad, perfectly right or completely wrong.

As a result, this leads to a significant oversimplification of reality, limiting the capacity to appreciate the world’s complexities and intricacies. Additionally, it affects the freedom to act, lifestyle choices, and overall quality of life for those who think in absolutes. These individuals struggle with improvisation, making rapid decisions, or adapting to change. They strictly follow established rules and do not allow others to deviate.

Pay attention to how frequently you use these words:

• Always
• Never
• Perfect
• Awful
• Impossible
• Disaster
• Win
• Success
• Failure

Certainly, we all make remarks like that from time to time. However, if these statements become increasingly frequent, you may be adopting more radical viewpoints.

Treatment: There are various approaches to help overcome black-and-white thinking. For example:

• Monitor yourself and observe signs of polar thinking. Each time you assess an event as “good” or “bad,” pause to contemplate whether it is truly the case. Attempt to distance yourself and refrain from employing such polar concepts, reasoning in non-judgemental categories.
• Recognize your flaws. Everyone has off days; performing at your peak consistently is impossible. Avoid being too critical of yourself for errors or lapses. These moments do not characterize you as a poor individual, an inadequate professional, or an unworthy applicant. Personal development is a slow process. Take time to rejoice in each small advancement as a sign of progress.
• Foster flexible thinking. This involves adapting to new situations swiftly, discovering unconventional solutions to problems, and maintaining a genuine curiosity for new experiences. To cultivate this skill, regularly consider opposing viewpoints, approach issues from different angles, shift your usual perspective, try new activities, and meet diverse individuals. To combat polarised thinking through cognitive flexibility, write down any black-and-white thoughts you notice each day (this is crucial!). Then, reframe these thoughts using flexible thinking to transform them into neutral statements. For instance, instead of saying, “I missed a workout at the gym again. How lazy and irresponsible I am,” try, “Today was a particularly challenging day at work, and I was so tired that I decided to skip a workout at the gym. I’ll do some exercises at home instead.” This way, you replace self-criticism with a balanced outlook and explore alternative solutions.

Consequently, black-and-white thinking can be a powerful catalyst for starting a long-overdue conversation with yourself. Employing several of the techniques mentioned above can alleviate dissatisfaction with your performance and considerably enhance your productivity.

№ 4. Personalization

Personalization can manifest like this: If your employee is late for work or misses a deadline, you might blame yourself and think, “That means I’m a bad boss!”

Definition and reasons: Personalisation is a psychological condition in which an individual tends to interpret everything personally, even if it has no direct relevance to them. In other words, this person believes they are responsible for everything that happens, regardless of whether the situation actually pertains to them.

There are several key reasons why people are susceptible to this cognitive distortion. A significant factor is past traumatic experiences. For instance, parental accusations and constant pressure can lead a child to feel responsible for everything that goes awry, causing them to believe they deserve such treatment. This often results in low self-esteem, which subsequently triggers personalization. In these instances, individuals place great importance on others’ opinions of them and continually seek approval.

Low self-esteem can distort reality, leading individuals to believe that everyone perceives them as failures, powerless, or insignificant. Conversely, personalization can also arise in those with inflated self-esteem who regard themselves as the center of the universe, interpreting everything around them as connected to their actions. Furthermore, people with social anxiety and heightened general anxiety may develop a phobia of being judged by others, resulting in obsessive thoughts that further contribute to personalization.

Diagnosis: A key sign of personalization is the disruption of emotional reactions. If you are skeptical of positive comments and compliments, or you tend to reach hasty and incorrect conclusions when emotions override reason, you are likely experiencing excessive personalization.

Excessive self-criticism is another hallmark of personalization. When this reflexive attitude becomes overwhelming and consumes all your attention, it can feel as if the entire world revolves around you. Another clear indicator is the misinterpretation and hypersensitivity to criticism from others. For instance, if your boss mentions that you lack certain skills for a promotion, it means you need to learn a bit more, gain new experience, and develop into the desired role. However, someone prone to personalization might take this negatively and conclude that they are a poor worker. Accepting even the most harmless feedback as a personal affront can significantly complicate our lives, but it is possible to overcome this tendency.

Treatment: Here are several methods to help you take a step back from the situation:

• Shift your perspective. Consider viewing the situation from an external viewpoint, taking into account all possible reasons for what occurred without labeling it. Learn to assess events from various angles and sometimes place yourself in others’ shoes. For instance, think about being the person whose words you took too personally. They likely did not mean to offend you, so offer them the benefit of the doubt and approach the situation with a calm mind.
• Learn to find the positives in every situation. People who tend to overreact often overlook the positive aspects by focusing solely on the negative. To counter this, practice stopping yourself when unwanted thoughts arise and consciously shifting to a positive mindset. Although this can be challenging at times, with effort, you will begin to notice at least a few positive elements in every event.
• Cultivate a healthy sense of indifference. Personalization often impacts those who overly concern themselves with others’ opinions. Here’s a little secret: most people aren’t paying much attention to anyone else. In reality, few individuals are concerned about your appearance or actions. Even when remarks seem directed at you, they are usually merely expressions of the speaker’s thoughts without any intent to harm.

Therefore, do not fixate on others’ opinions or seek external validation. Concentrate on your interests while remembering that you are part of a society where events arise from collective human activity rather than solely from your actions.

By relinquishing personalization, you’ll discover reacting to events, criticism, and contrasting opinions is far easier. The nagging obsessive thoughts that previously disrupted your peace drained your energy, and tarnished your mood will dissipate.

№ 5. Obligation

“Everyone should respect me” or “I should be the best at everything” – sound familiar? That’s exactly what obligation looks like.

Definition and causes: ‘Shoulding’ is a cognitive distortion that imposes rigid ‘should’ or ‘must’ statements on oneself or others, leading to unnecessary guilt, frustration, or unrealistic expectations.

A person who feels obliged to meet certain expectations sets themselves up for disappointment, as it is impossible to fulfill every requirement and, for instance, to “always be the best at everything.” This mindset leads to a dead end. Moreover, expecting others to meet your standards will result in frustration when they do not behave as you believe they should. The actions of others and the world at large are beyond your control. Shouting “The Universe owes me!” changes nothing. It is simply impossible to force the world to conform to your expectations.

The attitude of obligation often originates in childhood, as we grow up within strict boundaries. At its core lies a deep fear of rejection, lack of love, or punishment. Many children are taught to seek parental approval through good behavior, excellent grades, and other achievements, leading to high demands on themselves. Consequently, this results in increased anxiety and worry, fostering a sense of obligation. Chronic stress, a potential consequence of cognitive distortion, can further exacerbate this mindset.

Diagnosis: The idea of obligation toward oneself, others, and the world is expressed through key marker phrases. For example: “I must always be beautiful,” “I must graduate with honors,” “All colleagues should help me,” “All men should provide for women,” and so on. If you think or say such things more often, you are likely inclined toward obligatory thinking.

Treatment: Firstly, it is essential to ascertain whether a sense of obligation is fundamentally negative. To achieve this:

• Consider what you ought to do and what you should not. You shouldn’t entirely abandon “should” or “must.” Many actions we must take are objectively necessary. At the very least, we ought to eat to prevent starvation. This serves as the most basic example, defined by our physiological needs. However, there are also more nuanced issues, such as responsibility and duty. For instance, parents are accountable for their children; they must feed, clothe, and ensure their health and safety. They cannot suddenly abandon this obligation by claiming they owe nothing to anyone. Therefore, when letting go of obligations, it is important to approach this consciously and address only the cognitive distortions that reduce job satisfaction and quality of life. For example, “should always achieve exceptional results” or “despite being an adult, my parents should still support me.”
• Replace “must” with “would like to.” Precision in your thoughts and wording is crucial when breaking free from the principle of obligation. Although this step may seem simple, initially, you will need to control and correct yourself consistently. Be prepared for this to take time, as it requires prolonged practice and self-monitoring. To see quicker results, engage in conversations while avoiding using “must” or “should.” By substituting the thought “I must always be the best” with “I would like to be among the best,” you can motivate yourself to achieve your goal without imposing strict limitations, avoiding additional stress.

Therefore, awareness enables you to eliminate the “must” and substitute the absolute requirement with a wish. The key point is to recognize that the “must” is not an objective evaluation of reality but merely a cognitive distortion—nothing more than your expectation that reality aligns with your desires.

Conclusion

Thinking traps lurk in every corner of our subconscious. When we question whether we are subject to cognitive distortions, we often discover that we indeed are. However, do not worry—thinking traps offer an excellent opportunity to initiate an honest dialogue with yourself. Begin by acknowledging that cognitive distortions can sometimes take control of you. Then, explore their causes, which will necessitate a lengthy and occasionally uncomfortable process of self-reflection. Ultimately, you will experience heightened personal productivity and improved well-being, emotional stability, a desire to reach new heights, live fully, and perceive the world free from cognitive distortions!